A student said to his instructor, "Can you give me a simple example illustrating Einstein's theory of relativity?" "Yes. Say, you've put your nose into my ass. Now you say, 'I've nose in the ass,' and I say 'I've a nose in the ass.' The expression is the same, but the sensations are quite different!"
At a university, a lecture is in progress about sexual anomalies. Professor asks the students, "How do we call a man who wants, but can't?" "Impotent," the choir of students answers. "Right. And how do we call a man who can but wouldn't?" After a minute of silence, one female student jumps up and shouts, "A scoundrel!"
In a class, a teacher showed the students a brick and said, "Now everybody will tell me what you think about when you see this brick." "I think of our heroic toilers who build communism using such bricks," one student said. "Good. Now you, Sveta." "I think about our heroic forefathers who used such bricks as a weapon when they fought on barricades during the Revolution." "Very good. Now you, Peter." "I think of a cunt." "And why, permit me to ask, are you thinking of such a thing when I specifically showed you this brick?" "I just always think of it."
A girl who was in the eighth grade said to her parents, "Today we had a physician in our class. We all undressed and he conducted a check-up." "And?" "You know, they found only one virgin in the entire class." "Good girl." "Mom, but this was our teacher."