Night. A drunk men goes in the street. A cop stops him and asks: - Where you going? - I'm going to listen the lecture about the harm of the drunkenness and alcoholism. - At night? And who will give a lecture? - My wife and mother-in-law will!
An international competition for the title of the most manly man comprised three tests. Every participant must: 1. Drink in one gulp a bottle of vodka; 2. Walk into a cage and shake hands with a female bear, and 3. To make love to a woman from a remote Siberian village who never in her life took a bath. A Frenchman drank all of the vodka, and dropped dead. An Englishman drank vodka, then walked into the cage, and dropped dead when he saw the female bear. A Russian drank vodka, and walked into the cage. There was a noisy commotion, then the Russian walked out of the cage, buttoning his pants, and asked, "Where is the woman to shake her hand?"
After a holiday, workers were coming back to work, and those who had already been inside the workshop, greeted every new arrival walking in with the same question, "Hey, pal, how have your holiday been?" And everybody would answer proudly, "It was a beautiful celebration. I don't remember a thing!"